61 Awesome B2B Sales Jargon Busters
If you are new to Business to Business Sales then sometimes the sales jargon, buzz words, phrases and acronyms Sales Professionals use can be quite confusing. Furthermore without any standard definitions these words and phrases continue to confuse and mislead Sales People. Whist I wouldn’t recommend using any of these with your clients, the fact is we all like our buzz words and TLA’s (Three Letter Acronym’s) and as these are not going to go away, I thought we should embrace them. You can use our LIGHTHEARTED B2B sales jargon busters guide to test your own Sales Knowledge and that of your sales colleagues.
1) Cold Calling – a telephone call a Sales People don’t want to make, to a prospect who doesn’t want to receive it.
2) Warm Calling – a telephone call Sales People don’t want to make to a buyer that doesn’t want to receive it, but your Sales Manager has their name on his junk mail list, so everything will be okay.
3) Business Development Manager – a Sales Person with no people skills, that loses so many customers they have to keep finding new ones.
4) Account Manager – a Sales person who only sells to the customers they have, as they can’t close any new customers.
5) Beliefs – all sales beliefs are facts until you ask for evidence.
6) Bids & Tenders – an opportunity for B2B Sales People to sit in a warm office and avoid prospecting.
7) Buying Process – the obstacle course similar to ‘Takeshi’s Castle’ that all buyers make Sales People undertake for months, before being told the initial problem is no longer a priority.
8) Sales Process – an obstacle course comprising of an illogical series of hoops, that customers have to jump through should they wish to buy anything.
9) Buying Signal – a document that can be recognized by the two words at the top “Purchase Order”.
10) Buyer – a person who’s phone works perfectly until they receive a quotation from a Sales Person, after which their phone only rings or goes to answerphone.
11) Champion/Sponsor – the contact in the buying organization that will do all the selling for the Sales Person.
12) Advertising – a funnel where money goes in the top and then disappears in the middle, leaving nothing to come out the bottom.
13) Added Value – the concept of giving away something of no value to us, and of no use to the customer. Much easier to sell on price.
14) CRM – an unpleasant blackhole where B2B Sales People can never find anything useful, so much so, that some completely avoid it.
15) Customers – the only reason selling is not the perfect job.
16) Dealer – a company that agrees to act as your agent and then disappears with a contract that prevents you appointing another Dealer.
17) Discount – the reason why buyers buy.
18) Discovery Questions – questions that allow B2B Sales People to catch breath in between features and benefits.
19) Distributor – a company that distributes catalogs of products and services including the competitors and then uses up all the resources in customer services and aftercare.
20) Ears – where Sales People hang sunglasses.
21) Elevator Speech – a B2B Sales Persons opportunity to show up and verbally throw up.
22) Features & Benefits – the reasons Marketing think prospects should buy.
23) Accounts – where B2B Sales People go to get golfing expenses approved.
24) Founder – a disorganized, unshaven wannabe “rebel” who pushes back from society norms such as CEO or Managing Director.
25) Entrepreneur – self employed and no money to buy anything.
26) Gatekeeper – a person whose boss is never in.
27) IT – Sales personal password recovery specialists.
28) CEO/Managing Director – a manically obsessed control freak who is an expert in Sales, Marketing, Operations, Finance, Human Resources, in fact anything you mention in a conversation.
29) VP Sales/Sales Director – an egomaniac who jumps into the end of every deal to “help” perfectly capable Sales People close.
30) Sales Trainer – a self proclaimed magician with a magic wand and pixie dust, who can fix any sales problem on a two day course at your local Holiday Inn – Coming Soon to a venue near you. Dates to be confirmed.
31) Sales Coach – a powerless counselor to whom Sales People complain about their Sales Manager, Customers and their Partners who don’t “understand” them.
32) Marketing – the department for people who can draw, but can’t sell.
33) Customer Service – the department for people who are nice, but can’t draw and can’t sell.
34) PR – the department for people who can spell, but can’t sell.
35) Finance – the department for people with no friends who can count, but can’t spell, can’t draw and can’t sell.
36) Operations – the department for people who think they can sell, spell, and draw, but can’t.
37) Human Resources – the department for people who Sales People talk to when the company has decided it is time for them to leave.
38) Lead – a name from Marketing that downloaded one of Marketing’s ‘White Papers’ or ‘How To Guides’ that was so good they went off and fixed their problem on their own, and now don’t need to buy anything.
39) Prospect – someone who tells you nice things but never buys anything.
40) Objections – the words buyers use when B2B Sales People don’t ask enough discovery questions.
41) Organic Growth – the orders Sales People get without having to sell.
42) Psychometric Assessments – a quiz that identifies all the annoying traits in B2B Sales People.
43) Quotation – a wish list of what B2B Sales People think the prospect should buy, based on what they think they heard the prospect say.
44) Rainmaker – the long, lost love child of the Sales Director who is secretly receiving the best sales leads.
45) Sales 2.0 – an excuse to use personal Social Media at work.
46) Social Media – an excuse to use a laptop for personal reasons at work.
47) Sales Aids – the presentation materials Marketing provide, from which B2B Sales People create the ones they actually use.
48) Sales Cycle – the period of time all prospects choose to torture and torment Sales People between the first contact and when they give the order to the competition.
49) Sales Dashboard – an electronic monitoring device that tells management how much work Sales People are not doing.
50) Sales Pipeline – a pipe that Sales Managers use to beat B2B Sales People around the head in Sales meetings.
51) Sales Meetings – a one way conversation with the Sales Manager on the previous weeks Sales performance or lack of it.
52) Sales Training – a group event for Sales People to complain about Sales Managers.
53) Sales Management Training – a group event for Sales Managers to complain about Sales People
54) Sales Recruitment – the lottery by which a company recruits new Sales People by claiming how great they are. The winning Salesperson is then selected on their ability to claim how great they are.
55) Sales Target – a mythical sales figure no one has ever achieved, except the Sales Director and the Rainmaker.
56) Sat Nav – an invaluable tool for finding coffee shops in the field.
57) Start Up – a new organization where very clever technical People have invented a solution for a problem that no one has.
58) Solution Selling – a method of torture by over complicating everything, forcing the buyer to give up and surrender a purchase order.
59) Consultative Selling – a method of mental torture by using question after question, that forces buyers to give up and surrender a purchase order.
60) Trade Show – expenses paid, multi overnight stay in an expensive hotel, where Sales People, Sales Managers and Sales Directors drink too much and have arguments in the bar till 3am in the morning.
61) PPT – no not Microsoft PowerPoint. PPT stands for Premature Presentation Technique and is a guess of what the buyer is interested in, prepared in advance of the meeting, and used instead of asking questions.
If you have any B2B Sales Jargon Busters and you would like to contribute, improve and add to our list please do so via the comments section below. Marketing, PR, HR, Operations and Customer Service people are also welcome to contribute, on the basis that Sales will make the necessary adjustments to improve their submissions.
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